Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Presence
I have to share a feeling I had the other morning as I was pouring my coffee creamer. First of all, coffee creamer is a special treat that Rob and I will indulge in when we have company or on special occasions, so the fact that this was just a "regular" Saturday morning, it was extra special that I was drinking my coffee with creamer. The strangest thing happened while I was pouring my coffee. As I lifted the lid, poured the creamer into the cup and filled it with coffee, I felt the most overwhelming presence of my mom next to me. It was sort of like those mornings when I actually wake up thinking I can call her, but then it all comes crashing down on me when I realize I can't. It was like that, but nothing came crashing down. It was a feeling of peace and joy because I honestly felt like she was with me. I have never felt her presence since she died. I have found myself trying to feel her. I've even gone as far as standing in her closet and smelling her clothes, and it hasn't happened. It's a desperate feeling. I just want to feel her here. I don't want to forget what she feels like. I don't want to forget her smell, touch, and voice. On Saturday morning, I just tried to embrace her presence. It lasted all but 30 seconds, which is the really depressing part, but I'll take it. I pray for more moments like this in the future as I get used to living life without her.
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6 comments:
Oh Joelle I have goosebumps and tears. What an incredible experience, and I continue to pray for you as life without your mom has made things so hard. Love you.
Joelle....I'm so glad you had that experience. What a peaceful and comforting moment it must have been. She is always with us. Love you!
yep, the tears are now flowing...that's pretty much it. love you.
Thank you for sharing this. I pray for these moments too. It's so hard to remember what life used to be like sometimes.
Love you!
I am so thankful for that moment you had. I truly believe God allows those whose home is heaven to take part in our lives. Your mom is so missed, I know. I will continue to pray for you!
I am so glad this experience brought you peace and joy when there has been so much pain and sorrow in your life recently. From a distance, I can see your mom weaved into so much of your life - even though she is missed here on earth, I can see her everywhere in and around you. I hope you have more experiences like this as time goes on.
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